Am I a Good Person?

1An Introduction 1

2What is good and what is bad? 1

3How is someone determined to be good or bad? 2

4How does God see things? 3

5What does the Bible say? 4

6What about me? 5

7Appendix A – Why I didn't feel sorry about the bad stuff I had done 6

7.1Becoming Morally Sensitive 6

7.2Pondering the consequences of my actions 7

8Appendix B – Searching for Evidence 8

8.1Some Christian Evidences 8

9Appendix C – Becoming a Christian 8

9.1 Do I have to have perfect faith?
9

1An Introduction

When considering matters of eternity, at some point in life most people (including myself) have contemplated whether or not they are a good person. Recently I received an email from a friend asking the question: “do you think people are basically good or bad?” If people are basically good, then it seems only fair for God to look upon them with favor based on their goodness. I have to admit that it seems logical that God would give everyone the ability to choose between good and evil, and when they die, they would reap in the after-life according to what they had sown in their earthly-life. Many believe that their eternal destiny (Heaven or Hell) will be based on the summation of their good and bad choices here on earth. Measuring the summation of good verses bad is like putting one’s good deeds and bad deeds on each side of a good vs. bad balance scale to see which side tips.

2What is good and what is bad?

The first difficulty in answering the question of whether or not a person is basically good or bad is that without moral absolutes, it is not possible to determine what is good or bad. Rather, it comes down to personal opinion, current societal moral values, or the moral values espoused by some system of faith. There are some universally accepted behaviors are deemed to be good and other ones deemed to be bad, but the morality of many of our actions don't garner universal agreement. Some people may consider a behavior or action to be bad while others may consider it good. Also, the action may have a mixture of what is perceived to have bad and good consequences. One area of common disagreement is abortion. Some view abortion as totally evil, others view it as being OK depending on the circumstances and conditions, and some see nothing wrong with it. Recently I saw an article on the front page of the New York Times that discussed the issue of aborting children based on birth defects, such as downs syndrome or cleft pallet (which can be fixed through a common operative procedure). The woman featured in the article is pictured. She chose abortion because her baby had downs syndrome. Of course, she and others consider this a personal choice and there certainly isn't a universal agreement as to whether it is good or bad.

When it comes to societal morals, one thing that I am absolutely sure of is that what a society deems as good and bad continually changes. Moral standards seem to be cyclic to some degree – many times they start off strict and then get more and more relaxed until the frequency of a certain group of bad actions reach a breaking point and the society cannot proceed in its current manner. Then moral values seem to reset to a strict standard again – even then, some of the new societal standards may not really be good or moral - just restrictive. For example, when the Taliban governed Afghanistan, they had both strict and restrictive standards, but most people (including myself) would see most of them as immoral.

Another thing that I am very sure of is that throughout history, we humans have been talked into doing what we now see as evil in the name of what was then seen as good. There are many examples of this in history. In the Ancient Near East, many people sacrificed their children to the god Molech. In New Testament times, people in Corinth frequented temple prostitutes as a way of getting closer to the goddess Aphrodite Porne (the goddess of lust). Of course in Nazi Germany, many were exterminated in the name of bettering the society. In all of these cases, what we now see as evil was rationalized into being good. Many people chose to participate in these actions and a minority spoke against it.

3How is someone determined to be good or bad?

Recently I read an article about an old blues guy called Howlin’ Wolf. Here is an excerpt from the article:

Howlin’ Wolf took part in countless fights and told Hubert Sumlin he'd once killed a man by slicing off the top of his head with a hoe. Yet those who knew him best found him shy and surprisingly gentle. “He was just really a big pet,” the drummer Sam Lay said. “I would go so far (hey, I'm not funny or nothing -- don't get me wrong) and say he was one of the sweetest people you ever saw in your life.” Segrest and Hoffman, noting that Wolf had often been beaten by the uncle who raised him, argue that in this mix of violence and tenderness he “exhibited the classic symptoms of the abuse survivor.”

So, is Howlin’ Wolf a good, bad, or a victim of his circumstances? Maybe he is a mixture of all of these elements. Now consider the story of Yehiel Dinur.

In 1960, Israeli undercover agents orchestrated the daring kidnapping of one of the worst of the Holocaust masterminds, Adolf Eichmann. After capturing him in his South American hideout, they transported him to Israel to stand trial. There, prosecutors called a string of former concentration camp prisoners as witnesses. One was a small haggard man named Yehiel Dinur, who had miraculously escaped death in Auschwitz. On his day to testify, Dinur entered the courtroom and stared at the man in the bulletproof glass booth- the man who had murdered Dinur's friends, personally executed a number of Jews, and presided over the slaughter of millions more. As the eyes of the two men met-victim and murderous tyrant-the courtroom fell silent, filled with the tension of the confrontation. But no one was prepared for what happened next. Yehiel Dinur began to shout and sob, collapsing to the floor. Was he overcome by hatred...by the horrifying memories...by the evil incarnate in Eichmann's face? No. As he later explained in a riveting "60 minutes" interview, it was because Eichmann was not the demonic personification of evil Dinur had expected. Rather, he was an ordinary man, just like anyone else. And in that one instant, Dinur came to the stunning realization that sin and evil are the human condition. "I was afraid about myself," Dinur said, "I saw that I am capable to do this...exactly like he."

Dinur's remarkable statements caused Mike Wallace to turn to the camera and ask the audience the most painful of all questions: "How was it possible...for a man to act as Eichmann acted? Was he a monster? A madman? Or was he perhaps something even more terrifying...was he normal?"

4How does God see things?

The first question that you have to ask is "Which God?" It is popular to view all religions as equal or as different paths to the same heavenly destination or God. When differences are pointed out, the notion of equality is often upheld by the expression – “That is just your interpretation of that religion”. I strongly believe that the fundamental beliefs of most religions are clearly stated in their respective holy books. There may be some sections of the text that are obscure, but most are straightforward. Two very significant differences between the world’s religions are: 1) how they view good and bad, and 2) what they view as the requirements to get to their desired eternal destination (which may be Heaven, Nirvana or some other destination). A discussion about different religions will not be covered in this paper, but you can be sure that in these two most important areas, the world religions differ greatly. I believe it is very important to know why you believe what you believe. One area that is becoming more and more popular is to reject organized religion and create a customized religion based on what seems good to an individual. All too often we want to believe whatever resonates within us or whatever our traditional family religion has been. I urge you to go beyond what seems good or what your family tradition has been and ask the hard questions regarding why you believe what you believe. (For further information regarding this, see section 8 )

5What does the Bible say?

As humans, we are very cavalier about sin (doing bad or not doing good) - at least I know I often am. It is common to describe even serious sin as a just a mistake that we learn from. The God of the Bible views sin as extremely serious and dangerous. In the Old Testament, God gave the people “the law” so they would understand the difference between good and evil. Consequences to violating the law were also given to restrain evil. Even though the people had the law with strict consequences for disobeying it, they still ended up committing gross sin. The Bible is full of examples of people who did this. One example is King David (from the story of David and Goliath) who had an adulterous affair with his friend’s wife which ended up getting her pregnant. He then had his friend killed to try and cover up what he had done. God told the people to stone to death those doing the most egregious sins (like murder, bestiality, rape, homosexuality, adultery, and some other sins). Some say: “Wow! What a cruel god, how could he require that people be killed for making a mistake?” The answer is that he takes sin very seriously because it separates man from him and leads to destruction in the person's life and the people’s lives around them. If a specific sin is accepted, more and more people feel free to commit the same sin and more destruction will occur.

Although God is zealous against sin, he is slow to anger and has supreme love and forgiveness toward people. He always promised that at just the right time, a savior would come to save mankind from their sins and an eternity in Hell. This savior is Jesus Christ who was sacrificed on the cross for our sin. In the mean time, people were told to sacrifice a perfect lamb (or dove) on a periodic basis as a sign that sin is only forgiven with the shedding of blood. This was a fore-shadowing of the coming of Jesus Christ (who is often referred to as the Lamb of God).

It is hard for us to understand this mixture of zeal against sin and love for mankind. A good human example of this is Moses. Three months after God had provided many great miracles to release the Israelites from slavery in Egypt, Moses went to the top of a mountain in Sinai to get the Ten Commandments from God. When he came down from the mountain, the people had turned against God and were worshipping a golden calf idol and were indulging in other sinful actions. Moses was enraged when he saw what the people were doing. At that point he had the people choose as to whether or not they would follow the God of the Bible. Those who chose to follow God were then instructed to kill those who did not follow him. If the story ended there, we could compare Moses to Osama Bin Laden. But the next thing Moses did was to climb back up the mountain and beg God for the lives of the remaining people. He asked God to make a deal with him - he said that if God would spare the remaining people that He could "blot Moses out of the book of salvation". This meant that Moses was willing to go to Hell if God would just overlook the sins of those people. God spared both Moses and the people. Moses was radical against sin and supremely loving and self sacrificing at the same time.

Jesus was also very radical in his zeal and love. In regards to zeal, he equated lusting after a woman with raping! He said that if your eye causes you to lust, then pluck it out! He equated hatred in your heart towards another with murder! According to Jesus, even people who are good by societal standards are in big trouble. At the same time, Jesus is the supreme lover of mankind. He came to earth to save mankind from sin and bring them into relationship with God. John 3:16 says “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whoever would trust in him shall not perish but have everlasting life”. This is the gospel message (which means "good news").

This is great news to some and very offensive to others. It was great news to the apostle Paul – who wrote about two-thirds of the New Testament. He was a religious leader in his time that fought hard to exterminate the Christian religion. In fact he oversaw the killing of many Christians. The story of his life at this time sounds a lot like the life of Adolph Eichmann. However, he became the greatest Christian missionary of all time after he acknowledged his wrong-doing and turned his life over to God. Even though the gospel message is a glorious message to some, it is very disturbing to many others. Throughout history and even today there are many in the world that are killed for just speaking the gospel message. Why does the gospel message evoke feelings of anger and even rage in some people? How does it make you feel?

6What about me?

Over the past several years I have done some soul searching regarding my condition.

Am I a good person? For most of my life I felt that I was a pretty good person. At least I was outwardly nice and considerate to others and got along well with most people. When I viewed myself, I usually only considered my good attributes. When I did glance at the bad things that I had done, I would easily rationalize my way out of any feelings of guilt. There was a series of years in my life during and after college when I engaged in ongoing and serious wrong doing. The outward appearance of my life during this time was very deceiving. I grew up in a good family and was thought of as a nice guy that didn’t get into a lot of trouble. I would sometimes go to church (usually arriving late and leaving early) so I could check the box and maintain a feeling of righteousness. The truth is my religion was shallow, ritualistic and superficial. I would however call on God when I got myself into trouble. I remember making promises saying; “if you will just get me out of this situation, I promise I won’t do it again”. After things got cleared up for me, I ended up breaking my promise and then getting myself into deeper trouble the next time around. During this time, I had selfishly used many people. In regards to betrayal, I had been a Benedict Arnold. In regards to abortion, I had blood on my hands. On top of it all, on the inside I was unforgiving and critical of others.

Towards the end of this time in my life, when I committed my most egregious sin, part of me knew I was wrong and I recall wondering why I really didn’t have any remorse. In my case, I think there were two primary reasons for my lack of brokenness: 1) I was still very morally desensitized, and 2) I did not ponder the consequences of my sinful actions. For further information, please see section 7.

Looking back, there were a series of events in my life journey that caused me to start searching for truth and meaning in life. I came to a point in my life when I really started wondering about God. I read a lot concerning the different world religions and their associated holy books. In regards to morality I came to realize that following my own moral compass had led me down paths of destruction in my life and the lives of others. I also realized I was a hypocrite. I not only did wrong, but was self righteous and critical of others that were engaged in the same lifestyle as me. When I came to the realization that I was a sinful man in need of a savior, I wanted God to forgive me and knew that this could only happen if I forgave others that had offended me. I began to realize that they were just like me - messed up and in need of a savior.

I now realize that left on my own, I have so many bad attributes – more than any good ones. But, I thank God for this realization – for without it, there was not even a starting point for my becoming the person that God wants me to be. It is only by connecting with God that I am able to change. Little by little I get rid of some bad and pick up some good as I listen and obey, but I still have so far to go. Through it all, God has greatly blessed me. He has given me purpose and direction in life. He has taken away many of my bad attitudes and thoughts and gave me freedom from bondages I didn’t even know I had. He has answered prayers in a way that I know that it was Him in action on my behalf. He helps me in my relationships and is teaching me the true meaning of love. Decision making has become simpler for me since I just have to ask what is pleasing to him. I now know that God works everything for the good for those that love him. I also don’t have to carry the burden of the bad things I have done earlier in life – I am forgiven. When I do bad things now, He has promised to forgive me when I confess my wrongdoing and ask for forgiveness.

In regards to the good vs. bad balance scale, please keep it far away from me. Instead, give me Jesus and his sacrifice to cover my sin!

So, am I better than other people now - no way! I am just a beggar that has held out my hand and was given an everlasting blessing that is available to anyone who asks.  Please don't think that God cannot or will not forgive you. He has forgiven and transformed the lives of murderers like the Apostle Paul and King David and can therefore easily do the same for you. God loves you and is waiting to hear from anyone that will call on Jesus to take away their sin.

[For information regarding becoming a Christian, see Appendix C – Becoming a Christian].

7Appendix A – Why I didn't feel sorry about the bad stuff I had done

7.1Becoming Morally Sensitive

With nobody there to tell me that I was doing wrong and very low societal standards, I was free to make my decisions based on what I thought was best for me. At the time, there was something within me that loathed the feeling of guilt – I just did not want to go there. There was an internal force that put up a road block to stop any journey that traveled in that direction. There was always the beckoning voice of desire that called on me to fulfill its lusts. At the time, I had no idea that these forces were working within me. Even though these forces dominated my actions, there was still the quiet voice of my conscience telling me that I was violating God’s standards. But that voice was always overwhelmed with rationalizations that would fight to protect me against any feelings of guilt. With no feelings of guilt, I could then go on to indulge the desires which brought me short term pleasure.

Even though I was violating God's rules, he was still drawing me to him throughout this time. He did this by allowing me to get a little deeper in trouble each time I persisted in making bad choices. It as if he was saying “have you had enough yet?” I eventually came to a point in my life journey that I knew change was needed. I thought this change might come through God so I tried to determine if the Bible or any other holy book was true. Based on the evidence, I came to a point where I had accepted that the Bible was true and understood what it said concerning sin. I knew from a logical point of view that I was not in God’s will, but my heart did not break at the thought of my sin. I thought that something must be wrong with me if I knew that I had done wrong but didn't have significant feelings of regret and sorrow for my actions.

7.2Pondering the consequences of my actions

There were two events in my life that brought these emotions out of me. The first event came when I was listening to the “Fresh Air” show on National Public Radio. Terry Gross was interviewing Randall Terry when unbeknownst to her he began preaching about God's judgment and wrath on those who have sinned against God and are unrepentant.
His words hit me so hard that I ran up to my room, shot straight to my knees and started begging God for forgiveness. The Bible says, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom”. It also says, “There is no fear in perfect love”. I surely didn't love God very well up until that point. I was just beginning to know him and the fear of Almighty God was an appropriate response at that point. I no longer fear him in that sense. Instead I have come to know him as a loving father.

The second event in my life that brought emotions of regret out of me happened when I felt the pain that I had caused others. I didn't try to make this happen. Instead it happened when I was listening to a friend who was speaking very disparagingly about another friend of ours. This other friend had gotten involved in some of the same things that I had been involved in. As my friend listed the bad things that our mutual friend had done, I was thinking.. “man, I've done these same things and he doesn't even know it”. Then my mind started picturing the people that I had hurt. This happened to the point where I could actually visualize their pain. This brought on real regretful feelings of sadness and brokenness. In the Bible, Psalm 51:17 says: The sacrifices God desires are a broken spirit; O God, a broken and a contrite heart, You will not despise.

8Appendix B – Searching for Evidence

What are the reasons and evidences for believing what you believe? Is your faith reasonable? In regards to any faith, some questions to consider are as follows:

1) Are there many manuscripts close in time to the original writing of the holy book - and are they close to being identical to assure the authenticity of the writing?

2) Are there ancient secular writings that backup the events recorded in the holy book?

3) Are there *genuine* prophecies written in the holy book that have come to pass?

4) What is the archaeological evidence to back the events recorded in the holy book?

5) Has the associated faith made a drastic difference in the life of someone that you know?

8.1Some Christian Evidences

For an in depth analysis on Jesus' identity, I suggest reading “The Case for Christ”.

9Appendix C – Becoming a Christian

So, how does this all work? The Bible says that we are saved by faith in Jesus Christ. It then goes onto define what it means to come to faith in Jesus Christ. There are four basic elements:

1) Believe that Jesus came from Heaven to Earth and was sacrificed on the cross for your sin in order to bring you into relationship with God.

2) Repent of your old ways (make a U-turn in life away from sinful ways and towards God’s ways),

3) Confess with your mouth that you have been sinful and are now relying on Jesus to save you from sin, and

4) Be baptized (which signifies dying and being buried to your old ways and rising to new life under the will of God).

It is at this time that you will receive the Holy Spirit who will guide you throughout the remainder of your life. Reading the Bible and obeying the Holy Spirit rather than the “flesh” (or natural instincts) is how we come to know God and build relationship with him.

Joh 16:13 But when that One comes, the Spirit of Truth, He will guide you into all Truth, for He will not speak from Himself, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will announce the coming things to you.

Joh 14:21 He that has My commandments and keeps them, it is that one who loves Me;

and the one that loves Me shall be loved by My Father, and I shall love him and will

9.1 Do I have to have perfect faith?

You don’t have to have perfect faith to enter into relationship with God through Jesus. There are always going to be things that you don’t understand. There are going to be times of doubt. Even John the Baptist (the greatest prophet of his time) had doubts at one time. God knows that you are human and sometimes have doubts. He only wants you to surrender to him and trust in him. In doing so, you will see how he works positive change in your life.